He woke up in the middle of the night and found his wife sleeping next to him in bed.
He looked at her, she looked peaceful.
Yesterday, they didn’t make love despite them sleeping naked. But it is not a big deal.
It’s not that he doesn’t find her sexy; it’s just that they have outgrown sex.
They have reached that place in their marriage where sex is not a must have each night. They have reached a deeper level of intimacy.
A deeper level of intimacy where just holding each other close as their skin touch and converse brings pleasure to the soul. Yes, they have graduated from pleasure of the body, to pleasure of the soul.
Some nights they make passionate love, they sweat it out as he goes inside and pumps through her wetness. But other times they talk, laugh, chill and listen to music, smile, share the same air then sleep.
He looked at her.
She turned in her sleep.
He covered her revealed shoulder with the duvet.
She looked so comfortable.
He thought of the many men out there who are destroying their own marriages chasing after sex with other women. This world has billions of women; that means billions of butts, boobs and vagina. He is too mature to chase after other women, he has his Queen right next to him and no woman compares to her.
He wondered, what is the big deal about sex that makes people destroy their own homes for a few minutes of body pleasure. He thought of how our generation has made a big deal out of orgasms no matter how the orgasm is got; that we have forgotten the depth of love.
There is something higher than orgasms at any cost; there is love.
There is an unspeakable joy that comes with knowing you are faithful to your spouse. There is indescribable pleasure that comes with not just making sweet love to your spouse, but also being faithful to your spouse. There are people in this world who live for more than sex, those are the kind who are faithful in their marriages. The true test of an adult is when he or she masters sex and not sex being their master.
He looked at his beautiful wife sleeping and thought, she is more than a sexy body; she is his wife, his companion, his best friend, his confidant, his prayer partner, his co-worshiper, his Queen.
He kissed her on the forehead.
She opened her eyes to find him looking at her.
“I love you” he said.
She snuggled up inside his arms and said, “I love you too”
He stroked her soft skin as she fell deeper into sleep. He dozed off too – a couple that holds sexual intimacy as something special; a couple that has graduated from the pressure, complication and confusion of sex.
A healthy sex life doesn’t mean that sex must happen every day, every time. But that sex is part of intimacy and a blessing through faithfulness; that sex is something that comes with no pressure, something peaceful.
There is so much to love beyond sex.
Love your spouse through sex and beyond sex.

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When your eyes open in the morning
And you look deep into my soul in the new day

You make me want to kiss you
When you lie naked with me in bed
Your beauty the best secret kept

You make me want to kiss you
When you cover me in prayer
In God’s throne I find you there

You make me want to kiss you
When I watch you walk to the shower
And come back and lean on my shoulder

You make me want to kiss you
When you spank me on my behind
And creep on me from behind

You make me want to kiss you
When you tease me with your naughtiness
Turn me on to the highest

You make me want to kiss you
When you wear that beautiful outfit
And your wonder lies skin deep

You make me want to kiss you
When you talk too much
And I want to shut you up

You make me want to kiss you
When I see how great a mother you are to our kids
And you govern our home so wonderfully like this

You make me to kiss you
When you cuddle up so close to me
And your jokes tickle me

You make me want to kiss you
When we’re silly acting like clowns
And you chase away my frown

You make me want to kiss you
When we do chores together
You clean and I put things in the counter

You make me want to kiss you
When you talk with such wisdom
And debate me with such deep understanding

You make me want to kiss you
When you open up to me and reveal your tears
When you give me a chance to destroy your fears

You make me want to kiss you
When I watch you shine in public
And I see how many lives you touch deep

You make me want to kiss you
When we’re out on a date and your eyes shimmer
When you smile and talk playing with my fingers

You make me want to kiss you
When you retire with me in bed
And on the pillow we lie head to head

You make me want to kiss you
I crown my love for you with sweet kisses
Something about the woman you are
Makes my lips have frequent meetings with yours

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He is the man who showed her he is interested in her for more than just sex; that made her pay attention to not only her body but other parts of herself… he not only prays for her, he prays with her; the man who makes an effort to not just find out her dreams, but willfully support her without even her asking… he’s made her mindful of the words she speaks; slowly, she’s found herself cursing less and toning down on negative talk.

Every time she is down, he paints for her a vision of a bright future, fueling hope in her… he’s pushed her to live out her dreams, to stop procrastinating and act… he is sensitive enough to alert her when he is about to have a busy schedule so that she understands his silence is not because he doesn’t want to talk with her… he keeps his promises and when he does wrong, he is quick to apologize.

He makes her feel needed, desired, respected, thought of; she has no need to put up guarding walls because her heart he protects.. he is a man who challenges her and most of all, a man who lets her challenge him and love him too… as she looks back, she sees that in her spending time with him, she has let go of some childish, immature things; she’s grown into a woman, from a woman into a great woman… they have both grown and sharpened each other.

This is the reason why she will never let him go, she knows she found a good man; and that good man, treats her well because he knows she is his treasure.

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This is to the gentlemen who think that a woman’s role is confined in the home or she is destined to be a house wife and nothing more, that marriage and motherhood should mean the death of her dreams, that all she should talk about is diapers, cooking and domestic affairs.

This is to the gentlemen who are intimidated by a woman’s success or are not comfortable with seeing women succeed. Those who see a woman doing better is a threat and see the advancement of women as destructive.

The primary role of both man and woman is found in the Bible…
~ God blessed THEM (man and woman) and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground.” Genesis 1: 28

That means the woman has her place in the marketplace, in governance, in innovation, in ruling, in leadership, in business and also in shaping the future of God’s creation just like the man.

It is in a patriarchal culture that we want to reduce the role of the woman to just being a wife and a mother in home making. Her God given potential is way beyond that. Culture can be disregarded if it is discriminative and retrogressive.

So as you expect your wife to help you to achieve your dreams, as you expect her to handle the home so that you chase after money for the provision of family; you too be active in the home, give her peace of mind, and help her in achieving her dreams and purpose, she is a provider too. Don’t you know that two are better than one?

She was created for more than sex, beauty, birth giving and motherhood. She is educated, empowered and experienced to do more than home making. Do not let it be that her ambitions took a back seat the moment she said “I do” to you. If you do not know your woman’s/wife’s dreams, ask her tonight. Be the man who walked with her to all she was created to be.
Let us look at a woman as God looks at her, not the way we want to see her through our misogynistic eyes.

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1. “Picnic date”

There is something special and free about the outdoors. Pack up some food and drinks and a leso, find a spot and have fun

2. “Walk date”

Make time to just take a walk as you bond. Walk for long as you hold hands, laugh, bump shoulder to shoulder. You need no money for this

3. “Elegant date”

Go all out. Man, ask her out to an expensive, classy venue. Give her a chance to dress up. She will feel special, smiling as you romance her; she wearing her fashionable dress

4. “Dance date”

Find a place where good music is played or dance is taught and go there as a couple. Salsa, lingala, afro, twist, benga; go to a place where you will sweat, groove and get down

5. “Impromptu date”

Dates don’t have to be pre-planned. Be spontenous sometimes, drop everything and go somewhere as a couple for some quality time

6. “Movie date”

Go to the cinema. Movies bring out emotions

7. “Double date”

Go out on a date with another couple close to you. This will give you a chance to celebrate love and talk couple to couple. Your love will grow stronger

8. “Compassion date”

There are many people in society to bless. You and your partner, find a children’s home, an elderly home, a hospital or someone in need and together go spend time with them. God will bless your love

9. “Candle-light dinner date”

There is something romantic about looking into each other’s eyes in dim candle light. Make it special. Romance is sweet

10. “Special moment date”

This is when you celebrate big as a couple a special moment like Birthday, Anniversary, Graduation or Promotion. Never forget these moments

11. “Make-up date”

If things between you two haven’t been going well. Make effort to save your love by planning a good date. A date provides a good setting to allow you two to talk and get back to deep love

12. “Lunch date”

As you work different jobs, sometimes take a break, meet up and have a couple’s lunch for an hour or so

13. “Old love date”

Dates are not for young love only. Sadly, as two people stay in a relationship/marriage, the dates become fewer as they go through the motions. No matter how long you’ve been together, step outside your everyday responsibilities and go for a date to rekindle and sustain the excitement

14. “Sports date”

Is your favorite football club, rugby team, basketball team, golfer playing? Is it the safari rally, athletics? Go out for dates as a couple where you can scream, cheer and go wild. You two will connect more

15. “Friends date”

Have a barbeque, hook up with friends, throw a party. Organize something as a couple where your love will be celebrated in the presence of close friends

16. “Travel date”

Pack your bags and travel. Break the monotony and as a couple drive, fly, sail to a place you’ve never been. Experience new attractions together. Your love will never be boring this way

16. “Stay at home date”

Or lock yourself in the house. Not to work or do chores. But to switch off everything and concentrate on each other. Cook together, eat together, make memories for two

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Commonly, many couples face turmoil in their marriage due to poor relationships with their in-laws. In 2013, statistics revealed that 11% of separated couples blamed their divorce due to poor relationships with their in-laws.

Although this number isn’t remarkably high, it’s still alarming since a marriage should never end due to poor relationships because of outsiders.
In life, it is never good to have a spoiled relationship and as we age this becomes truer.

As human beings, most of us strive to live lives that are uplifting, rewarding and wholesome. We want to be remembered for the amazing things we did in our lives, not the mishaps we may have made along the way.

One way to ensure that our memory lives on with positivity is by repairing and building upon any broken relationships that may exist.

If you’re facing difficulty in repairing your relationship with your in-laws, but genuinely want to resolve matters, I offer the following suggestions below to make this much easier:

Ways to improve your relationship with your in-laws

In order to limit the amount of stress put on your marriage due to poor relationships with your in-laws, below are pieces of advice, try them and find how to strengthen your relationship with your in-laws;

Allow yourself to forgive and move on – holding feelings of anger or resentment will only hurt you, not the person causing the pain. Allow yourself to be free from pain and move on to factors that are much more important and valuable in your life.

Instead of taking offense, perhaps try to comprehend their position and delicately explain yours. Of course when upset, communication skills can suffer.

Prepare yourself before having any kind of conversation by reminding yourself to always stay calm and spend a moment thinking and processing before offering a reply.

Decide to put what was done in the past behind you – agree that what was done or said in the past will remain there; not to be discussed or used again in later conversation. This will help to heal with the pain that may have been caused by allowing you to feel free from the matter and its potential for affecting you again.

Begin to move forward by building on your relationship – When the timing is right, begin to slowly build upon your relationship with your in-laws. Perhaps by inviting them to a family function or a small gathering at your house.

Although in life we will encounter poor relationships, it does not mean that every relationship is un-repairable. Oftentimes, if clear lines of communication can be opened and a feeling of compassion can be felt, many of our relationships have the ability to stand the test of time.

As the Holy Bible tells us that we should love our enemies, then that tells you that its only by loving your in-laws no matter what they do to you that will create a good relationship with them and by doing so you will be saving yourself from divorce.

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A lot of men, who after reaching a certain age tend to become quiet and inexpressive. They are not preachy parents, they don’t haggle with their children trying to reinforce good behavior and they don’t scold them over small mistakes.

But does that mean they withdraw themselves completely from teaching their children? Absolutely not! There are subtle silent ways through which they inculcate important life lessons in us.

Fathers teach us the importance of relationships and the art of maintaining them.

Developing a relationship is simple, but keeping it going is what’s difficult. Watching ours fathers handle their relationship with our mothers makes us learn how marriages are supposed to be and how to sustain it through different times- good, bad and worse.

Everyone desires good and happy marriage, here are lessons on how to achieve that;

1. Respect and value your spouse

There are a lot of marriages in which one partner works outside home and the other undertakes all the household responsibilities. But sometimes what happens in such an arrangement is that the earning partner starts to forget about the sacrifices and efforts that the other partner puts in, just because their work doesn’t reflect in their bank accounts. This makes the stay-at-home spouse feel unappreciated and demoralized, which starts to create resentment in the relationship. To have a healthy relationship it is extremely important to respect and value your spouse.

2. Your relationship is more valuable than winning petty arguments

Is there any marriage that doesn’t have arguments? Well, fights and conflicts are pretty much inevitable in every relationship. While having an argument some people can really get stuck up with the idea of proving themselves correct, but this habit can really be lethal for their relationship. To have a happy and fulfilling marriage it is important that sometimes you take a step back during arguments and apologize even when you feel you are right. Your relationship is far more important than trivial fights. Don’t hurt your partner and create unnecessary distances between yourselves, just for the sake of proving yourself right. Criticize only in private

Never raise your voice or make negative comments about your partner in front of friends, family or acquaintances. That doesn’t mean that you should never fight. Conflict is a natural part of any relationship, every couple has differences at some point or the other. But it is important to solve them in private, in solitude. Having arguments is not only uncomfortable for the bystanders, but can further aggravate the problems.

Image result for AFRICAN DAD WITH HIS DAUGHTER WHO IS MARRIED3.There are so many different ways to express love

While saying I love you is wonderful but there are so many different ways to express love. Little gestures like ordering your partner’s favorite takeout, doing their share of chores or getting them small presents really shows how much you love them. These little things are going strengthen your relationship, they will give you memories to cherish, and they will rekindle the thrill and excitement in your marriage. Expressing love by being thoughtful and undertaking small gestures to make your spouse happy, really goes a long way in developing a healthy and lasting relationship.

These lessons have really helped me maintain my relationship and get through the problems in a better way. There are a lot of men who are not very fond of interacting, who like to keep to themselves. But even then, they can teach us such important lessons on relationships that no-one else can

4. Listen and validate what your spouse says

There are going to be days when you are exhausted and can’t wait to hit the sack. At that time if your spouse wants to start a conversation with you, it can get really frustrating for you. But even then you must not shut them off or shush them. Acknowledge their concerns, listen to whatever they wish to say and gently ask them if you can have this conversation later. Shutting off your partner just builds tension in a relationship which later snowballs into fights and arguments. And remember, a day can come when the tables turn and you might be the one who wants to talk but your partner doesn’t. You wouldn’t want them shush you- would you?

5. Don’t let your kids play you against each other

Often partners have different ideas of parenting and they don’t always agree with each other on everything. But, it is important to stay together in front of the kids. Children are smart and know how they can get their way into doing things. They approach the lenient parent and get permission to do what the strict parent might disapprove of.

What this does is that it creates problems between the parent couple. It is important to make sure that you and your partner stick together and sort out your parenting plan. Your kid shouldn’t be able to take advantage of your differences and create problems between the two of you.

6. Criticize only in private

Never raise your voice or make negative comments about your partner in front of friends, family or acquaintances. That doesn’t mean that you should never fight. Conflict is a natural part of any relationship, every couple has differences at some point or the other. But it is important to solve them in private, in solitude. Having arguments is not only uncomfortable for the bystanders, but can further aggravate the problems.

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Getting married means promising your commitment to one particular person that you truly love.

But, for some reason, people often think that marriage means giving your life, freedom, and control to another person. We often find that people tell us it is impossible to get married and stay friends with opposite sex people.

When a married man is a friend of a single woman, suspicion somehow rises automatically not only in the married man’s wife but also among her girlfriends and other people around, and vice versa. This may seem like a potential problem to many.

In reality, the new-age generations are not entirely to blame for such thoughts and reactions, since the idea of being friends with an individual of opposite sex after marriage has long been seen as an untrustworthy act, thus we have

Simply adapted to this idea that has been passed on from previous generations.
Now, I am not implying that there is a zero percent chance that a man who is

Married will or may not get sexually attracted to a woman he is a friend to.

I am not even implying that there is no chance that they might start to form a bond which could be more than just friendship.

I am, however, stating the fact that, even though it seems unlikely in this day and age, but there are opposite-sex friendships that do not lead to any sexual activity or anything more than just good, harmless, uncomplicated friendship.
Socializing in an important part of our mental development and it also aids in maintaining a healthy mind.

Friendship is a definite necessity for socializing, since socializing with colleagues at workplace is not the same as having a fun night out with some friends.

Some friendships last for a relatively short period of time, while others can last a lifetime, either way, they are all important for the development of human beings.

Here are a lot of benefits that comes with friendship, they include, finding out who they truly are, support in life, you get to be told the truth and above all they will crack jokes with you.

Psychologists says , having friends and socializing does not only mean you have a person to lean on when things get tough, someone to talk to when you feel hurt or someone to laugh with, but it also holds many psychological benefits for both you and your friends.

They continue to report that many studies have found that the lives of adults who continuously interacted with friends, especially those with long-term friends, had a better quality of life and better health than those without a significant number of friends.

Apart from these benefits, depression is a common problem that people with no or only a few friends experience, as it leads to feelings of loneliness, anxiety, and unworthiness.

A certain writer explains that his findings were quite surprising as it seems like the world is, in fact, opening up more towards a married person being good friends with a person of opposite sex without any consequences coming into play.

He explains that even the Christians that attended the conference are now talking more openly about the fact that it is, in fact, possible for a married man to become good friends with a single woman, without any sexual tension.

In the same way, a married woman could become friends with another married man or even a single man, without anything sexual attraction between the two.

To ultimately answer this question, we should first look at the necessity of friendships in our lives and then consider another vitally important fact.

Quite a large number of Christians get married in their early twenties,this means the two people that are getting married are simply entering their adulthood lives after getting marriage, which also leads to the fact that most likely, they have not yet made a decent amount of adult friends.

While there is still a general belief among people that a married person cannot be friends with someone of the opposite sex, or it would seem suspicious, but now people are getting more acquainted with this idea. Being married does not necessarily mean there is a call for suspicion.

<img src="” />People are able to be friends with someone of the opposite sex without having to become sexually attracted to them and without having to compromise their marriage or hurt the one they are married to. In this day and age, it is important to adapt to the changes in the world and to accept smaller things like this, in order to grow as a human being.

So live freely and let your partner be, know his female friends and he can also know your male friends, this will help you live happily in your marriage, do not feel insecure. Always keep in mind that whatever you are doing with your opposite sex friends is what your partner is doing with his, so don’t do something that you won’t want your partner to do.

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Life is stressing in today’s world amid work and aspirations for a higher living standards.

These leads to less quality time with spouse and as an aftermath the calculation for a good married life goes wrong.

You want to have a healthy marriage? Right here are tips on how to achieve that;

1. Respect

To earn respect it is important to honor and value the feelings of your partner.

Healthy relationships are a result of mutual respect between partners.

Never humiliate or disrespect to your spouse. In fact, your actions should demonstrate your respect for him or her.

2. Quality time

It’s difficult to understand your spouse unless you spend quality time together. You will come to know about what your partner likes or dislikes. And by so doing both of you will be showered with love.

It’s advisable for you to arrange for a special date to a cool resort which will result in more value time with each other. Both of you may also go to movies together, play, discuss some issues away from home.

3. Appreciate

Everybody feels good when appreciated, and that tells you that by appreciating your marriage partner you will be touching something in his heart and this strengthens your marriage.

Always remember that appreciation is a fundamental virtue and lack of it may alienate both of you in the relationship.

Experts suggest that couples should appreciate each other for any small thing as it will make him or her feel special.

Husbands should appreciate the cooking and cleaning work of wives, even how she takes care of babies. Never take household chores for granted or that there is nothing to appreciate in it.

4. Forgive

If you can’t forgive your partner then you’ll always have fight with him.

Forgiveness is the key in every relationship. Try to forgive past mistakes of your spouse so that there is no grudge left.

No one is perfect, forgiveness brings more love and more respect in relationship and marriage.

5. Physical

Being physical with your spouse is important too. It helps maintain healthy and successful relationships. It is suggested to give a hug in the morning and also the same while parting for the day.

A warm hug brings confidence in relationship.

6 Free time

We all need our personal time at times, so do not occupy all of your partners space and time.

Free time builds up trust between partners.

This also helps your partner to have some good time with friends or make new friends, because everyone both married and unmarried deserves to have friends.

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It is very common for people who just broke up with their ex to spy on them 24/7.

Why is she/he called your ex? Probably because you were fade up with the relationship or you found someone better than him/her.

My question is why spy on them ?, this is done right from where they are going, what they are wearing, and who they are meeting, at what time are they meeting, agenda, to what they had for supper, people want to know every little thing about their ex.

But let me tell you, this is a very bad attitude. Things, like checking their Facebook status, their tweets, their posts on instagram and keeping in touch with their friends to know where they are, will only make you more obsessed and addicted to them.

If you ever find yourself in such situations then you really need to take a step back.

I mean maintain the main objective of no contact rule, that is stop spying on their activities on social media.

Give them some time and let them realize what they are missing out on, in their life, by not having you in their life.

If you stay at bay from your ex then they may realize how much they miss you and ultimately may want to come back.

Another thing what you need to understand is that during this no contact period, not only you but your ex will also miss you.

Terribly missing you can lead them to call you or finally get back to you. But all this is possible only when you stop spying on them.

A friend told me that she takes his exes as a vomit and since she can’t eat back her vomit then no matter what, she can’t have back her exes.

Spying on your ex will only hurt you more, cause you’ll find out that he/she is seeing someone who looks better than you, may be in texture, fashion, education, job and many other and this will only break you more.

If you want him/her back be wise and play smart, let him not realize that you are desperate without him.

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